Navigating Parental Alienation 

Over the last few years, parental alienation has been discussed in the media quite a lot. But do you know what parental alienation really means? Do you know that there is huge controversy amongst professionals because they don’t even agree if parental alienation is really a thing? Keep reading to find out what’s all about.  

What Is Parental Alienation? 

Parental alienation ⁽¹⁾ is a mental condition in which a child allies strongly with one parent (the alienating or favoured parent) and refuses to have a relationship with the other parent (the alienated or target parent). The alienated parent is rejected without any justifiable reason, such as physical or emotional abuse, or neglect.  

The idea of parental alienation was first quoted by Dr Richard Gardner in 1992. 

The most common cause ⁽²⁾ is that the child is manipulated by the other parent. As a result, the child ends up disliking or being afraid of the alienated parent. Parental alienation usually happens when parents are going through a very conflictive separation or divorce. However, it can also happen in intact families. Especially, if the couple is going through a rough patch or have a very difficult relationship.  

The result of parental alienation is the breakdown of the relationship between the targeted parent and the child.  

Alienation may be done by mothers and fathers ⁽³⁾. 

A Word of Caution 

Before we dive into the research on parental alienation, let me tell you that this is a highly controversial topic. Even though researchers have been examining it for the past 30 years, some of them do not even agree that parental alienation is a thing.  

On one hand, there are researchers who argue that parental alienation is based on junk science ⁽⁴⁾ and it is only a justified dislike for a parent, similar to estrangement. According to them, parental alienation is ambiguous, and impossible to diagnose.  These researchers also argue that parental alienation is a legal strategy used by abusive parents to get custody of their children ⁽⁵⁾.  

In contrast, other researchers ⁽⁶⁾ believe that there is enough evidence to support the concept of parental alienation. They believe that parental alienation is a thing.  

Let’s explore what the research says, while keeping in mind this word of caution. 

Signs of Parental Alienation in Parents 

The alienating parent may… 

• Criticize and humiliate the target parent in front of the child.  

• Convince family members and friends that the target parent does not deserve their love and should not be in touch with the children 

• Impede or make it very difficult for the child to spend time with the target parent  

• Do campaigns of denigration against the other parent 

• Disapprove of the child showing affection towards the target parent 

Signs of Parental Alienation in Children 

Children who are victims of alienation may… 

• Criticize the alienated parent strongly and with no cause 

• Show unconditional support for the favoured parent. Everything the favoured parent does is right and everything the alienated parent does is wrong 

• Experience hatred or fear towards the alienated parent 

• Not care about the feelings of the target parent  

It is important to keep in mind that having negative feelings towards a parent is not always evidence of parental alienation.  

What Are the Consequences of Parental Alienation? 

Some mental health professionals use the term parental alienation syndrome (PAS) to describe the effects on parents and children. Other professionals have stopped using the term ‘PAS’ and instead they refer to ‘parental alienation’, ‘alienation’, ‘implacable hostility’ and ‘child resistance or refusal’. These terms are also questioned by some practitioners and researchers because they claim there is no scientific evidence to support them.   

Children may experience short-term and long-term effects, such as depressive symptoms, lower quality of life, and difficulties communicating with the target parent ⁽⁷⁾. They may also find school difficult, have problems sleeping, and develop low self-esteem ⁽⁸⁾.  

The target parent ⁽⁹⁾ may experience depression, anxiety, frustration, feelings of loss, fear, and helplessness. However, note that there is not much research examining the experiences of alienated parents. 

Is PAS a Diagnosable Mental Disorder? 

PAS is not recognized as a diagnosable mental disorder. It is not included in the two major mental health diagnostic systems that practitioners use around the world. These are the DSM-V of the American Psychiatric Association (APA) and the ICD-11 of the World Health Organization (WHO).  

It is important to note that the WHO and the APA consider that parental alienation can be considered a ‘Caregiver-Child Relationship Problem’. This category is included in both diagnostic manuals, but it is not recognized as a mental health disorder. The WHO considers that parental alienation is relevant in some judicial contexts, but they argue that there is a lack of evidence to consider it a mental syndrome. 

The fact that PAS is not considered a mental disorder does not mean that it will never be. Diagnostic systems, like the DSM-V and the ICD-11, are not set in stone. They have included disorders that have later been eliminated (e.g., homosexuality) and added others that were not included before (e.g., Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder, DMDD).  

What Is the Difference Between Parental Alienation and Estrangement? 

Estrangement involves a child rejecting a parent with a reasonable justification, such as abuse or neglect ⁽¹⁰⁾. Alienation involves rejecting a parent with no clear reason. 

Estrangement is also not considered a diagnosable mental disorder by the DSM-V or the ICD-11.  

Is Parental Alienation Abuse? 

No. Domestic abuse is a crime whereas parental alienation is not.  

Why Is It Important Whether Parental Alienation Syndrome Is Really a Thing? 

Whether PAS is really a thing or not is important because it could have huge implications in child custody decisions, abuse cases, and children’s welfare.  

If PAS was to be recognized as a mental disorder, children’s testimonies would be evaluated with scepticism, particularly in cases of abuse or neglect. Judges might question whether children’s statements are their own or influenced by the alienating parent.  

Family courts would have to rely more on expert witnesses, such as psychologists, to determine if the child really has PAS or not.  

Finally… 

As we have seen, parental alienation is a really complex issue. If you are going through a difficult patch with your partner or your children and you want to discuss it, do not hesitate to get in touch with me.  

Regards,  

Ana 

Dr Ana Aznar  

References 

⁽¹⁾ Bernet, W. (2023). Recurrent misinformation regarding parental alienation theory. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 51(4), 334-355. https://doi.org/10.1080/01926187.2021.1972494 

⁽²⁾ Bernet, W. (2020). Parental alienation and misinformation proliferation. Family Court Review, 58(2), 293-307. https://doi.org/10.1111/fcre.12473 

⁽³⁾ Lowenstein, L. F. (2013). Is the Concept of Parental Alienation a Meaningful One? Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 54(8), 658–667. https://doi.org/10.1080/10502556.2013.810980 

⁽⁴⁾ Joyanna Silberg & Stephanie Dallam (2019) Abusers gaining custody in family courts: A case series of over turned decisions, Journal of Child Custody, 16:2, 140-169, DOI: 10.1080/15379418.2019.1613204 

⁽⁵⁾ Meier, Joan S. and Dickson, Sean and O’Sullivan, Chris and Rosen, Leora and Hayes, Jeffrey, United States Child Custody Outcomes in Cases Involving Parental Alienation and Abuse Allegations: What do the Data Show? (January 01, 2020). GWU Law School Public Law Research Paper No. 2019-56, GWU Legal Studies Research Paper No. 2019-56, Available at SSRN: https://ssrn.com/abstract=3448062 or http://dx.doi.org/10.2139/ssrn.3448062 

⁽⁶⁾ Baker, A.J.L. (2018). Reliability and validity of the four-factor model of parental alienation. Journal of Family Therapy, 42, (1), 100-118. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-6427.12253 

⁽⁷⁾ Tavares, A., Crespo, C. & Ribeiro, M.T. What Does it Mean to be a Targeted Parent? Parents’ Experiences in the Context of Parental Alienation. J Child Fam Stud 30, 1370–1380 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-021-01914-6 

⁽⁸⁾ Harman, J. J., Kruk, E., & Hines, D. A. (2018). Parental alienating behaviors: An unacknowledged form of family violence. Psychological Bulletin, 144(12), 1275–1299. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000175 

⁽⁹⁾ Baker, A., & Andre, K. (2008). Working with alienated children and their targeted parents. Annals of the American Psychotherapy Association, 11, (2), 10-.  

_⁽¹⁰⁾ Garber, B. D. (2011). Parental alienation and the dynamics of the enmeshed parent–child dyad: Adultification, parentification, and infantilization. Family Court Review, 49(2), 322-335.